Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Grief Stricken Day

Fifteen and a half years ago, a tiny ball of fur joined our happy little family.

My husband saw her roaming around the substation he was assigned to that week. The first day he saw her he called me to ask if my parents would like to have her, because she looked almost exactly like Cali. I told him that since Cali was so old that they wouldn’t want to put the extra stress on her of dealing with a tiny young fur ball.

Every day he fed this little fur ball the turkey off his sandwich. When the last day he was to be at this substation rolled around, he decided he couldn’t just leave her there (even though he had told me that he was NOT going to bring her home).

I worked second shift at the hospital then, so I was never home before 12:30 am. So this particular night was no different than any other work night. I unlock the back door, greet all the dogs, a walk into our bedroom to find my husband in bed asleep as usual. Or so I thought! He peeks up at me, smiles, then the tiniest little furry head popped out from under the covers. I am staring at the cutest little face, a tiny calico kitten. Mostly black & brown from head to tail, with a white belly, chest and feet.

The next day we informed all the family members of the new addition to the family. My then seven year old niece asked if we had picked out a name yet. After informing her that we hadn’t found one that we liked. She explained that they had been studying about Columbus discovering America at school and thought that “Nina” would be a cute name. So, the tiny fur ball became Nina our newest “child”.

Well, fifteen and a half years has seemed to fly by. During that time many things have changed, also many things have stayed the same. We still tend to bring lost little “four- legged” children into our home. Ten years ago we added a “two-legged” child, Audrey, too! During that time the number of our “four-legged” children has fluctuated, and today that number has changed once again.

Nina, our beloved tiny little fur-ball has died.

The sadness feels overwhelming at times, the tears ever flowing! At one point that’s all you could hear ~ sobbing!

Our daughter would sneak off to the bathroom to do her crying (loosing one of the family wasn’t an unknown to her, but the hard edges ease some till a new death sharpens them once again ~ you can read her story of grief here on her blog), my husband did his crying in solitude, and my crying just seemed to gush.

Nina lived a long and wonderful life and brought us so much joy! We all three were right there with her as her live dwindled away from her. We gave her kisses, hugs and tender strokes. My husband had went outside in the snow and cold (probably to cry some more). While he was outside Audrey and I sat next to Nina on the love seat and kissed her our last kiss. Audrey wanted Daddy to be the last to kiss her. He walks in, Audrey tells him that he was to “kiss her last“, and he did.

Nina held on for “Daddy to give her the last kiss”. Now that emptiness has settled into the corner of my heart once again. There till the hard edges ease, till the next time.


kansas crochet mom said...

Tammy I am so sorry to hear of your loss! ((hugs))

MyMaracas said...

I'm so sorry for you and your family. I know how sad it is to lose a family member -- and that is how we think of our pets, too. It sounds like Nina was one lucky kitty.